ISN’T SHE JUST

she walked in with the salt shaker and was like

see that logo

see how it’s the mall logo

yeah its cos i stole it from the food court when it first opened

and i was like omg grandma

and then she gave me a bowl of orange slices.

welp

thats it

we’re done

we can all go home now

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME.

SAME

WHERE DO I SIGN

HE NEEDS TO BE ILLEGAL

OMG LOL I AM IN HYSTERICS READING THIS. I’M SO GLAD THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT JUST RANDOMLY THINK OF MY DAD.

Ok you know what, I’m gonna publish this because it just needs to go on my blog.

So, in the barrio there’s a big festival we have in the summer called Fiesta del Sol. It’s fucking HUGE and Mexicans fucking LOVE IT because they give out SO. MUCH. free stuff. I still have mini deodorants from two years ago. My dad and I just kept going back in line, it was awesome.

Anyways, I couldn’t go this year, so my dad went by himself. As you walk, people just hand you shit and when you’re Mexican, you just fucking grab it, no matter what it is (and then you go for seconds until they kick you out). Someone gave my dad a pin, and without stopping, my dad grabbed it and put it on his shirt.

“Y Cami,” he tells me as he recites this story to me (and at this point I do a great impression of my dad), “People were just staring at me, like looking at me all funny. And I thought, why is everyone looking at me?

I look at the button, and it said ‘i love men’.”

He pauses for effect.

“Era para los pinches maricones!!”

It’s for those fucking fags!! Well, as you can imagine, my dad lost his shit. At this point in the story, he mimes frantically taking off the pin and throwing it FAR AWAY like it was the gay plague.

I am on the floor, right, as he’s telling me this, and I’m like, “Papi, I’m pretty sure no one was looking at you. Like, that is highly improbable.”

And so serious, he’s like, “No.

Cami.

They were all looking at me funny.”

And that was how my father saved himself from the deceitful, undermining gay pin.

HM. THIS IS A LEGIT THEORY. I LIKE IT.